Ahs and Ums on a Friday evening

I have this new friend in office . A very nice chap with varied interests , though all esoteric and which I find difficult to follow . But Why should I care about his interests ??? hmm ..….because he drags me into all this and since I manage to find time for everything other than my work , I agree . The First was Toastmasters . He called me on a Thursday evening to check whether I can join him for a toastmasters meeting the next day . He used to mention about toastmasters often in passing saying it was some public speaking club, but only after he called me for the meeting I went to their website and had a look . Toastmasters is this international organization for public speaking and leadership . You can find a local chapter in any city and many in big cities . I don’t want lessons in public speaking not because I am good at it but because I don’t need them . I don’t like to sermon people nor do I need the skills to convince others , because convincing others is something I hate . But then , there I was in an auto rickshaw with him going to the meeting just to see how it all happens. He said we were just guests and I thought I can happily sit back and listen to the speeches . Only after I reached there I found out that anybody who is a non-member is called a guest and also have to participate in all the activities . The introductions started and it was quite an eclectic mix of people . Like any other club , it was reeking of formality and there were many designated members like toastmaster of the day , president , secretary , grammarian and timekeeper . The first activity was extempore. Everyone who came to speak started off with the same usual beginning “Good evening toastmaster of the day ,Good evening president , Good evening secretary …….. ” . Hearing so many Good evenings made me hate the evening . I never understand why people say good morning or good evenings when you can say it just once before addressing all who are present. My friend sitting aside kept prodding me to go pick a topic and speak and after some time I did . I started “I think everybody is distinguished here and so I am just going to say one Good evening to all the distinguished members ” .That was the first time everyone laughed and I was surprised they could do so since you easily get a feeling laughing was prohibited there . I continued in the same comic tone and during the feedback at the end of the meeting everyone said they liked my comic sense . It was good considering in reality I always have the look of a convict who is on the guillotine and going to have his head cut off in a minute . Then the most important feedback came by .I dint know one of the grammarians there had this interesting job – counting “ahs” and “ums” in the speeches . These are called fillers in speeches and it is considered bad to have too many of them. I got my count of Ahs and Ums and was quite surprised I used a few too in my speeches . Something I learnt and which I wasn’t aware . Something worth for the hundred bucks I paid. What ?I paid ? Yes I did .The so called toastmasters address people as guests but charge them . So much for the etiquettes they teach. !!!!Charge the guests !!!! . But it was nice evening having got to meet so many people some of whom were veteran speakers and also getting a feedback on my speaking style .

And then there was this girl.I saw her while entering and went and sat next to her .What to do ? As always those were the only places available…hehe. I did leave one chair between us according to the Indian decency code of seating for Indian girls and boys.Sitting next to a girl is still a crime,atleast in my city . We did share a few glances and even looked at her once during my speech to see whether she was laughing for a joke of mine . She was but the the wildest laugh came from someone sitting in front of her , the secretary of the club, an old lady whom I later found out to be the mother of the gal….ahem ahem - A little off target . Anyways I have grown up now . I am more restrained when it comes to girls these days.I am older,wiser , meaner and uglier than before. No more do glances or even other overtures from girls excite me. But then you can always have fun and play with them a bit and I don’t miss a chance ….never ever :))). So after the meeting I went up to the everyone in the room to bid good bye . Mother and Daughter were standing together and I went ,greeted both of them with a smile and started a conversation with the mother . She was a nice lady and we had a conversation about her laughter and she said that is one thing she cant control . I never did once speak to the daughter though she was seriously following our talk and laughing with us . I said goodbye only to the mother and just walked away . Her face dropped a bit but I dint care . Five minutes later I was still not gone since every goodbye involved a talk for a minute or so . I looked out for her and caught her glancing at me standing with another lady . I smiled at her and she returned it . Just then , I started walking towards her as if to talk to her but turned to the lady next to her when i went near , shook hands and said a goodbye to the lady and came back without minding her . Her face dropped and I could clearly see how pissed she was . I felt ecstatic….it feels really good to hurt gals(*drums rolling*). I know I know …I am a bloody indecent rude snob .:))) . Nothing big but you don’t miss a chance considering I may never meet her again and she may forget it after 5 mins . And what about my friend - He was damn serious and was discussing about the technicalities of public speaking all the time .